In the spirit of transparency and reintroducing myself, I want to share the story of not just a disappointing moment in my life–but one of the most defeating and heartbreaking incidents during my time away.

Here goes…

It’s been almost four years since my last blog entry—and for transparency sake: I’ll admit that I’ve had this entry sitting in my drafts for two of those years.

I’m juggling a new circus act called, “My Life” right now, and, currently, one of the things falling through the cracks: one-on-one time with my husband.

You know the part where we play pretend…the part where we pretend that we’re really confident in ourselves…

As I continue to journey through adulthood, there’s one lesson that has presented itself to me more times than I’d like to admit:  EVERYBODY CAN’T GO WITH YOU.

Oftentimes, birthing a human being happens Slowly and Surely. It takes time.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in this season of my life as a newlywed and soon-to-be new mama it’s that your relationships will change. To be honest, they have to change.

Pregnancy is one of the most joyous times any woman can experience…but it can also be one of the most darkest.

Moment of transparency: Sometimes unexpected blessings don’t feel so great in the moment. There is something to say about when the unexpected happens when you least expect it.

I can’t really remember the first time you recognized your desire for marriage. But knee deep into your twenties, something shifted. After one failed relationship after the next, you decided to give up your desire for marriage.

I came home from work one day, looked at myself in the mirror and was like, “WOW. She’s fire; she deserves amazing things!” So I put on a sexy playlist, poured myself a glass of wine, began parading my still fully clothed self around my apartment…and then I felt shame.

An amazing man proposed to me in front of the most beautiful view…and it was PERFECT. But less than 24 hours later, I found myself driving down Route 13 back to my apartment in Salisbury…and I sobbed.

During one of the first in depth conversations Neil and I had before we starting dating, he shared that he was a virgin. Not too long after, shame and insecurity started to plague me…because I’m not.

2020 part one was pretty ghetto for us all. And by the looks of caucasity and  the audacity of caucasity in just the first few weeks of the new year, 2021 is already off to a pretty interesting & tumultuous start. BUT, there is still cause for us to make space to celebrate.

This holiday season may be the hardest one yet for so many after losing a loved one in the midst of a pandemic. Today, I’m sharing my own journey with grief, guilt, and loss.

Life is full of moments–that can change the trajectory of your day, your week, your month, your year. And then there are moments that can change the trajectory of your life–your legacy.

Black people–enraged and reminded that once again there lies a country that is blasphemous and godless. Black people were not at all surprised that the country of their own, of their stewardship, of their belonging, of their effort–a country of their ancestors' labor and sacrifice–had once again ruled against the value of their Black humanity.

When I began having sex, I was scared out of my mind. Like most of you, I was told a lot in church, "Don't have sex before you're married!" Never really was told the why (PROBLEM!), so when I "did it," I swore I was going to catch all of GOD's wrath in the form of an STD or an unplanned pregnancy.

On the eve of my 26th birthday, I was...SAD. I had just went through a breakup a couple of months before and I was just SAD. FOR MONTHS. But here I am a year later…and so much has changed!

There is so much going on right now. In our country. In our world. In our lives. And the truth of the matter is we are NOT ok. I've tried to reason my way out of this...feeling. I've tried ignoring it. But I am not ok.